Even though I babysat regularly and volunteered often in church pre-school as a teenager, I had no idea what I was in for when I had my first child. I look back and laugh at my complete ignorance. What exactly was I thinking? Or rather what was I not thinking? There was so much I did not even know, anticipate or prepare for as an expectant new parent. Rather than thinking about the important parenting aspect, I spent hours of time on the not-as-critical non-parenting aspects. My time was spent studying the stages and symptoms in my pregnancy, reading about the labor and delivery experience and worrying about breastfeeding. I was actually more fearful about the breastfeeding aspect than the actual pain of childbirth itself. I guess that with all this on my mind I completely forgot that there was going to be this innocent, helpless little newborn to take care of.

As a matter of fact, to reveal just how oblivious I was to the task of motherhood, I said these words to my husband towards the end of my pregnancy: “Honey, what am I going to do during the six weeks of maternity leave? I’m going to be so bored!” I look back now and realize I was clueless and should have made it my first priority to plan and prepare for the grand privilege and task of taking care of a new baby. I learned a lot by trial and error and, thankfully, had wonderful relatives to give me advice and support. I think that if I had been more prepared it could have prevented a lot of stress, worries and even postpartum depression.

So below is my all-essential list of how to survive the first six months of taking care of your new baby.

Sleep whenever and wherever you can. I remember my sister-in-law, whose two children were elementary age at the time, talking about how she was always so tired as a mother. Sleep was something she longed for and craved. I now know what she is talking about! When you are losing sleep all the time, it suddenly becomes a cherished commodity. As a new parent it is literally impossible to have the energy or strength to take care of your baby when you are like a zombie. When the baby takes a nap make yourself rest rather than trying to clean the house.

Accept the fact that you can no longer control your schedule. This was a difficult concept for me to swallow. And I so wish someone had told me about it ahead of time. I am a very schedule-oriented person. I plan things, I make lists and I hate deviating from the schedule. When I didn’t have children I could easily say I plan on cooking dinner tonight, doing laundry and watching some TV. After having a new baby I was lucky to even eat dinner, let alone cook it. In my childless days I could easily plan to run 3 errands and be done in precisely 45 minutes. After having a new baby I discovered that it could take one hour to do a 5-minute errand because you could suddenly have to feed a hungry baby followed by a dirty diaper change.

Realize that your health and the baby’s health are more important than housework. The housework will always be there waiting for you. Wow, how reassuring. You have to realize that life changes when you have a new baby. Your health and your baby’s health take priority over household tasks. Yes, they still need to get done, but during these months when taking care of the baby is so demanding the bare minimum in domestic tasks is sufficient.

Ask for help; Accept help when offered. A memory that sticks out in my head during my new mommy days are the times my sister came over to fold laundry. For some crazy reason, she loves doing laundry and she would literally come over once a week to fold my laundry. This was such a stress relief for me. Not only was it a time to chit chat with a friend, it lifted a mental and physical weight of a household task that I just didn’t have the time or energy to do. There is nothing wrong with asking for help and accepting help when it is offered. We have to lay down our pride. We need to let go of thinking that “we can do it all” or “we should be able to do it all” or “we will show incompetence or weakness by accepting help.”

Do something nice for yourself everyday. Take a shower, check your facebook, call a girlfriend, watch a TV show, do your nails …...  Whatever the treat may be, do it for yourself. You deserve it. You are still you. It may seem like once you become a mom you instantly lose your identity. Everything becomes all about the baby. You are also going through a major change in your physical appearance which for me was quite depressing. One of the biggest shockers after I had the baby was that I was not skinny. This was the first time in my life I was fat – really fat! I had a big, flabby belly and it took a year for it to shrink down in size. But that’s okay. This is all part of becoming a mom and giving birth.

Try not to worry. I discovered as soon as I became a new mom that I was suddenly a worried, frantic, fearful person. As soon as the baby cried I rushed to his side. As soon as the baby fell asleep I’d check his breathing. If he would not stop crying I would worry and go down the list of all the ailments that he may have. I encourage you to think positive thoughts, let peace enter your mind and allow a tranquil environment to fill your home. There is much inspiration and encouragement in the Bible, devotional books or Christian articles on line. I dare say that the evening news can even fill your mind with worry and fear. There are so many tragic and terrible things that we hear. While it is important to keep up with current events, there must also be as much positive entering your mind in order to create a balance.

Overall, after becoming a new mom, you need to retrain your thinking, your expectations and your schedule. Your life has completed changed and this blessing of a baby has brought some new challenges with it. But you can choose to learn and grow from this new experience rather than get depressed, overwhelmed and stressed out. You can find joy in the midst of these sleepless, energy-draining, crazy months, treasuring simple pleasures of your new little baby. You can accept your limitations with a grain of salt, realizing that a messy house, a fat belly and a random schedule are meaningless in light of this special infant that has come into your life. You can truly enjoy the transition into your new life as a mom!